Frank Zauber Arrested in Connection with Missing Man

[Ottawa] The notorious Frank Zauber was arrested this week after voluntarily submitting himself to questioning at the Kanata police station, 600 kilometers away from the crime he was supposed to have committed just half an hour before.

Earlier that day, police in London, Ontario had received a call from a man who claimed that Zauber was trying to kill him. He insisted on immediate assistance as, he said, “He’s on his way. I know he’s coming for me. He’ll be here soon and I don’t know what I can do.” Both the phone from which the call was made, and the house to which the police were dispatched, have now been identified as belonging to one Warren Harnish.

When six officers arrived at the scene just minutes later, Harnish was gone. Said Officer Weston of the London police force at a press conference this morning: “We found a young woman at the scene, who had minor injuries and a magically wiped memory of the past few days. She is currently in custody but she is not currently a suspect, and we expect to release her soon. Rather, we are focussing on questioning Frank and Emma Zauber, who are both connected to the scene in multiple ways. However, we do not believe anyone was killed at this location and as long as the Zaubers continue to cooperate with us, we have great hope that this mystery can get resolved quickly and Harnish can be found.”

So why was Zauber arrested, if he was in Kanata (a seven hour drive from London) just minutes later? “We have evidence that magical forms of transport were involved,” said Weston. “It really renders all distance considerations moot.”

- R. Kenneth Kale, The Ottawa Connection



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